What Became of Helen?

My Sister Helen

This is my sister, Helen. Taken a number of years ago, this picture shows her when she was still young and single. Now she is an old married woman. The background is the wall of a cave, Laray Caverns in Virginia. She went along with her brothers, Joe and John, our friend and "adopted" kin, Jim, and her old boyfriend (removed by special effects from all pictures) and now rumored lost somewhere in a Hell Dimension for which we have no name.

We suspected that she was under alien brain control. Her hair sometimes became purple, thinned, and even had glitter-like dandruff falling from it. It is possible that she sprayed her hair with funky chemicals to do this, but the idea seemed too far fetched to believe. No, alien brain control seemed more likely. This would have explained her girlish fascination for Michael Jackson. Of course, a lot of girls liked him in those days, something most of us guys could not figure out. I mean, his one great love song was to a rat in the movies. You remember, Ben! However, since he has removed his terrestrial disguises and shows his alien features to all, the spell seems broken.

She now prefers middle-aged, red-headed men, with a healthy paunch-- namely her husband superhero, Lord and Master, Patrick.